Gyps' Blog

Mother's Day

2006-05-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers

The following is a poem that I came across in a newsletter, I don't know who wrote it though.

A WOMAN"S POEM

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard ...
Not like his Mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew.
I didn't mend his socks
The way his Mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue,
Then I turned around and smacked him ...
Like his Mother used to do.

Norml

2006-04-27T20:07:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I've been here, I had trouble getting in ...

I came across something a bit strange in the Side Swipe column of my local Newspaper, The New Zealand Herald on Monday 24 April.

"Norml News, which is a great read, has kindly provided some tips about how to get stoned the healthy way. Including: use organic cannabis; sterilise your bong/ pipe between sessions; don't share joints and pipes because of the risk of meningitis; avoid cannabis when pregnant.
And my favourite, "mixing cannabis with alcohol can make you more out of it than intended". "

Reading this made me wonder whether having organic cannabis alters the price of it, (Will the ever rising fuel prices have an effect on this too and is this going to cause a further crime problem with the rising costs?) and does the theory of mixing alcohol and cannabis needs further testing. Is there really a "healthy" way to get stoned?

Perhaps the quote "beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" should be altered to
"Beauty is in eye of the joint holder"

All comments welcomed

Santa is a Woman

2005-12-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

I found this while browsing

Santa is a Woman

I think Santa Claus is a woman....

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing
social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull
it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting
gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind
of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with
amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping
spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco
products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You
might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my
husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th
hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa
is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would
wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the
tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all,
there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and
strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate
claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already
be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation
problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and
clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the
fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the
Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the
flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas
fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to
straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen
with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest
as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability
to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.........
- Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.
Definite guy.
- Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
- Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.
But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good
will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas
Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!

Grrrr Pizza

2005-08-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

Pizzas for dinner should be simple ... pick up phone, ring and order them to be delivered. Yeah right, ...it wasn't simple the other night.
Rang the usual pizza place with coupons at the ready, the incompetent female at the pizza shop (she had to keep asking someone else there)gave me an outrageous price for the pizzas I wanted delivered, and after asking someone else there again she told me I could only use one coupon. What utter bullshit, other times I have used 2 coupons with no problems at all. I told her what to do with the pizzas. My mom'll be proud of me, I didn't swear or at least I dont think I did ...supermarket trollies have been known to run into people in my presence (mom wants to disown when that happens).
Had to ring another pizza co. to actually get the pizzas for dinner, as usual there was some left for breakfast.

Quiz Time

2005-08-13T22:36:00.000-07:00

Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
age
Stripper Name:	Petty Page
Specialty:	the splits
Customers say:	"Are those real?"

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I found a quiz on a friend's journal, that I thought I'd share.

And Yes, those are most definitely real. Hehe

2005-08-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

Well since my last posting a birthday has quietly passed by. Although I ended up cooking dinner that night, I did not work that day. Actually it was a fairly quiet day, I got some reading done (and not just of blogs either); did some creating, and I got new high scores in a couple of games. My friend has told me that turning 40 is easier than 30, guess I'll just have to take her word for that ... cos 40 is a long way off yet (and I dunno yet whether I am 40 will ever become part of my vocab.). Recently I have had a few people ask me, how old I am ... they'll just have to keep guessing.

Crappy Day

2005-07-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

When I started writing this yesterday I'd had a damn crappy day. Hopefully writing about it, will get rid of it. I hate working when "everybody" thinks they are the boss (and they're not really), and they try telling me what to do, especially when they're wrong, and I'm right. I dont need bossy people throwing their weight around, telling me to watch my language, as if quiet ole me would be using bad language anyway. What the hell gives them the right to boss me around anyway. I dont need to put up with their crap; and thankfully I dont always work with this person. The thought that today Thursday would be better, helped me get through the rest of the day.
At least today was a better day, well no one has totally pissed me off today yet. And I didn't cook dinner, so all is good.

2005-07-05T20:59:00.000-07:00

After a lot of procastinating I'm finally getting around to adding another post. (Yeah, it's been so long I had trouble finding my way back here).

The Picture:

If you passed some of the people on the street that you meet and greet online would you recognise them, or they recognise you. Probably not. Do they really even know you by name? Is there a picture on their profile, and does the picture match, to how you envisage the person? Not necessarily.
A couple of weeks ago I relented and changed the picture on my Yahoo profile. The picture I put up, did not stay up for long, due to negative and thoughtless comments in the gameroom from some narrow-minded person (who shall stay nameless). And while I'm still in a negative frame of mind, the person who added my to their hate list at number 3 is still being ignored, (which is what he deserves). If I'm gonna be on a hate list I want to at the top of the list. Fortunately not all the people that frequent the gamerooms are such assholes. But who knows you might find a photo on my profile again or you might not.

Some More Thoughts

2005-04-14T00:36:00.000-07:00

While I was busy flicking through books at work today I came across some quotes

"It is the malady of our age that the young are so busy teaching us, that they have no time left to learn."

The man who first said "spend your holiday never knew how right he was!"

"It is an undoubted truth, that the lesss one has to do, the less one finds to do it in. One yawns, one procrastinates, one can do it when one will, and therefore, one seldom does it at all" From a letter written in 1757 by one Phillip, Earl of Chesterfield.

And in 1748 he also said
"Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket, and do not merely pull it out and strike it, merely to show that you have one."

and from a newsletter

IT IS YOUR LIFE
You can't control the length of your life, but you can control its width and depth.
You can't control the features of your countenance, but you can control its expression
You can't control the other fellow's opportunities, but you can grasp your own.
You can't control the weather, but you can control the moral atmosphere which surrounds you.
You can't control the bigger incomes of your friends, but you can manage wisely your own modest earnings.
You can't control the distance that your head shall be above the ground, but you can control the height of the contents in it.
You can't control the other fellow's annoying faults, but you can do something about your own faults.
You can't control the hard times or rainy days - but you can bank money to boost you through both.
Why worry about the things you can't control? Get busy controlling the things that depend on you!

A Poem

2005-03-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

A poem by one of my favorite poet's

She Walks Like a Gypsy

She walks in whispers and leaves in mystery
hear her call but I must resist temptation
her ivory voice of silk and compassion
leaves me staggered in contemplation

oh to be with her so safe and warm
tanned lace and honey milk in her touch
i dream of her this lonely desert night
and wonder if she feels as much

i found her in the pale moonlit glow
of a caravan under sandy sky
i found here there with beauty in her smile
kissing me with a tempered sigh

she is just a fleeting dream
born of wind and saffron
just a vague memory
one i can reflect on

i wish she was with me all these years
to help me with these falling tears
but she is not, just a flickering flame
one that can never be had or ever tamed

she walks like a gypsy
in at dusk and out at dawn
the fairest vision ever seen by me
and forever out of reach beyond

By john "Gorgeous" allen
and more of his poems can be found at
http://poetrysoup.com/poem_detail.asp?PoemID=180

Some Words from the Lighter Side of Life

2005-02-20T22:01:00.000-08:00

Well I'm all out of coffee, so will make do with some words from the "Lighter Side of Life"

Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

Zodiact - to modify your behavior so that it agrees with the personality of your star sign.

Why is abbreviation such a long word.

Despite the high price of living, it remains popular.

The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

According to my best recollection. I don't remember.

I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.

A rare book is one that has been borrowed and returned.

Live each day as if it were your last and someday you'll be right

And for the procastinator's among us ...
...A procastinator's work is never done.

Whew I made it...

2005-01-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

Whew I made it, I'm back at my desk; coffee cup in hand; waiting for the words to appear on the screen.
Well the coffee fix just isn't getting this done today, I will have to resort to chocolate.
The other day, while waiting for a bus I saw a clown, well I swear it was a clown. He had hair like a clown, rode a unicycle like a clown. All that was missing was the clownsuit. You can forget having the look, you know the one, the is she really that dumb. It really looked like a clown.

I was witness to a miracle at the weekend, we had a long weekend here and it didn't rain. I cant remember the last time this happened. The weather forecast had even been for some rain over the weekend. Finally some summery days back to back. God knows we could actually have done with some rain, many of the paddocks and fields are starting to look quite parched. I am sure there are many sunburnt bodies around today, not me .

Yesterday I visited a Rescue Zoo, I resisted the the urge to bush dive and there was no trampoline in sight, so no jumping on that either. Flying foxes are fun though. They also have some animals at the Rescue Zoo that are trained and have had parts in commercials. They put on a bit of a show, which will help to improve things for the animals. Have you ever seen a pig painting or playing basketball, well there's a pig there that can. I even fed a zebra while I was there. I certainly wouldn't want to be a day old male chick, as some of these get fed to the Serval.
(Thank you to my fellow bloggers and online buddies that have encouraged me). Well that's enough rambling from me, until next time

To Blog or Not ...

2005-01-26T10:31:00.000-08:00

To Blog or Not ..., this a question that I asked myself the other day. Could I, should I, would I. Well after reading Pointmeister's post of Saturday, January 22, 2005 - "Drink coffee ... do stupid things faster with more energy", I decided even I could write a blog.
So here I am armed with coffee ... so if anything that appears that I've written and doesn't make any sense, don't blame me it was the coffee. Hopefully something will magically appear on the screen without the use of too many expletives or the word trampoline.,, and without running out of coffee.
Wow, my small city that I live in, yesterday made the breaking news of the day. .. and it definitely wasn't for something positive. Someone allegedly doused themself in petrol and went into a service station, threatening to blow himself up. Traffic was disrupted, and businesses too in the 5 hour standoff that followed. Tear gas was finally fired into the shop, and the male was taken to hospital under police guard. He was charged today. On the radio reports of this incident, the man's age was not mentioned until he was taken away. It's good to be able to say he was Not young. There's still some Crazy old people around, yep it's not just young people that do **** stupid things...